I read a short story in which a woman goes to write in the hotel lobby where her sister works the front desk. Her sister is not allowed to have visitors at work but she tells the woman about the one sofa in the corner that is just out of view of the CCTV cameras. The woman sits there and writes at night while her sister works. They don’t speak or interact at all. They are just there together. And their presence is enough to fight off the loneliness and boredom that they would feel if they were apart. This made me think of people in my life that I have done this with and what kind of relationship we had.

You can only do this with another person who makes no demands on you and has no expectations. And you must be the same way with them. You both know and trust each other deeply enough to be completely at ease in each other’s presence, without any awkwardness or pressure to interact. Knowing that the other person is there is enough to make you feel safe and cared for. Just their silent presence can do all of that. This is especially potent when you are feeling worried or upset. Maybe you don’t want to talk about it and maybe you want to be alone…but with someone.

This is not the same as two strangers sitting in a coffee shop. Or two people working quietly in an office. In a situation like that, the two people just happen to be in the same place. Or, in the worst case, they are tolerating each other. Instead, you want to be with the other person….not to get anything from them….but just to feel safe in their warm presence.

This is a rare and precious relationship. Who could this be for you? I guess family members could qualify, although definitely not all of them would. Couples in a long relationship? I hope so but not necessarily. Old friends, especially from childhood…that’s a possibility. Whatever the relationship, I think it depends on the personalities of the two people and their ability to meet in perfect balance and unconditional acceptance. At least in that moment.

Maybe this ability in itself is a good measure of a healthy and mature relationship.

And a perfect antidote to all the world’s noise.

Alone together.

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