Beyond the first definition

If you ask a native English speaker the meaning of a word in English, you may get a few different answers. Take the word “date” for example. What does this word mean? One person will say that it is the number of a particular day in the calendar, as in July 15th is todays “date”. Someone else might say that a “date” is a social appointment where you meet up with someone to do a specific activity…like go to a movie. Another person might say that a date is a sweet fruit with a pit in the middle…as in “date” squares. A single word can have several different meanings. The same is true in other languages.

I have been learning Korean for several years and a lot of my vocabulary consists of words for which I know only one basic meaning. I think this is normal in language learning. More exposure to the language over time will show these words in unfamiliar contexts. Then, you look them up and discover new meanings. This is progress.

Shin-cheong (신청하다) means “to apply” for something

***I don’t think romanizing Korean words is very useful but I’ll do it here so you can recognize the word in this post and get an idea of what it might sound like.

I learned the word shin-cheong/신청하다 many years ago. It was in a vocabulary list that gave a single definition: “to apply for something”. For example… to apply for a job or a passport or a credit card. Ok…I got it. “Shin-cheong/신청하다” means “to apply for”. I remembered this word.

What else could it mean?

While studying recently, I listened to a conversation in Korean online where a man asked a female coworker to go out for a drink after work. She was surprised so she questioned him in Korean: “What? Are you asking me on a date??”

Now…in this situation, she used the word “shin-cheong/신청” in place of the english verb “asking”. “데이트 신청을 해요?” is what she said in Korean (don’t worry if you can’t read this).

So..with my limited understanding of the word “shin-cheong/신청”, the translation in my mind sounded like this: “Are you applying for a date with me?”

This made me laugh and I knew that I was misunderstanding something. Of course, I looked it up and found that “shin-cheong/신청” also means “to make a request/ask for something”. This meaning is commonly used in dating to “request” that the person go out with you. In others words “ask them out”.

Why not “apply” for a date though?

Then I started to think that maybe applying for a date was not a bad idea. It has to be better than embarrassing dating apps and online algorithm match-ups.

I imagined it like this:

If you see someone you want to date, you would simply submit an application to them, like applying for a job. Dating is work, isn’t it? The application could give your name, birthdate, contact information, hobbies, life goals, core values, expectations etc.. A good application could even include references from people you have dated in the past who will confirm that, although it didn’t work out, you don’t seem crazy or dangerous. A good cover letter stating why you are interested in dating the person could increase your chances of getting a callback.

So, in this imaginary world, it would be perfectly normal to walk up to someone you find attractive and hand them an application. The social convention would require that the person accept the application without judgement or emotion. Maybe there would be just a few polite questions or a little small talk. The whole exchange should take no more than a minute. Later the person can choose the most promising candidate and set up an interview (Isn’t a first date really an interview?)

How is this better than online dating?

First impressions or “gut reactions” are a kind of animal instinct we all have. I think these impressions are pretty reliable and accurate. If someone meets you face to face and hands you an application…simply by meeting them physically, you are learning things about them on a subconscious level. Important information is being exchanged, even in those few seconds. This is where online dating sites and dating apps fail.

Sure, you can flip-and-find someone online who has a cute picture and sounds amazing in their self-promotional blurb and set up a date with them. Then you probably find out that they are not at all what you expected. This is such a waste of time. Wouldn’t it be better to have a quick meeting first and then get the details to consider afterwards? Maybe get a few applications to compare..call a few references?

In the world outside my imagination…

I suppose this would probably never work..no room for advertising. It was just a cute and funny idea that popped into my head when I failed to translate accurately.

“Are you applying for a date with me?”

“Why, yes..thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely (your name here)”

I guess online dating apps are the new normal and they are here to stay. We have been trained over the years to filter all of life’s events through our devices. I suppose it works sometimes. But, I still believe that the best way to meet someone is to meet them, face to face, out in the world. And listen to your instincts.

If you have any questions or comments or if you would like to submit an application, please use the form below.