Applying for a Date
Beyond the first definition
If you ask a native English speaker the meaning of a word in English, you may get a few different answers. Take the word “date” for example. What does this word mean? One person will say that it is the number of a particular day in the calendar, as in July 15th is todays “date”. Someone else might say that a “date” is a social appointment where you meet up with someone to do a specific activity…like go to a movie. Another person might say that a date is a sweet fruit with a pit in the middle…as in “date” squares. A single word can have several different meanings. The same is true in other languages.
I have been learning Korean for several years and a lot of my vocabulary consists of words for which I know only one basic meaning. I think this is normal in language learning. More exposure to the language over time will show these words in unfamiliar contexts. Then, you look them up and discover new meanings. This is progress.
Shin-cheong (신청하다) means “to apply” for something
***I don’t think romanizing Korean words is very useful but I’ll do it here so you can recognize the word in this post and get an idea of what it might sound like.
I learned the word shin-cheong/신청하다 many years ago. It was in a vocabulary list that gave a single definition: “to apply for something”. For example… to apply for a job or a passport or a credit card. Ok…I got it. “Shin-cheong/신청하다” means “to apply for”. I remembered this word.
What else could it mean?
While studying recently, I listened to a conversation in Korean online where a man asked a female coworker to go out for a drink after work. She was surprised so she questioned him in Korean: “What? Are you asking me on a date??”
Now…in this situation, she used the word “shin-cheong/신청” in place of the english verb “asking”. “데이트 신청을 해요?” is what she said in Korean (don’t worry if you can’t read this).
So..with my limited understanding of the word “shin-cheong/신청”, the translation in my mind sounded like this: “Are you applying for a date with me?”
This made me laugh and I knew that I was misunderstanding something. Of course, I looked it up and found that “shin-cheong/신청” also means “to make a request/ask for something”. This meaning is commonly used in dating to “request” that the person go out with you. In others words “ask them out”.
Why not “apply” for a date though?
Then I started to think that maybe applying for a date was not a bad idea. It has to be better than embarrassing dating apps and online algorithm match-ups.
I imagined it like this:
If you see someone you want to date, you would simply submit an application to them, like applying for a job. Dating is work, isn’t it? The application could give your name, birthdate, contact information, hobbies, life goals, core values, expectations etc.. A good application could even include references from people you have dated in the past who will confirm that, although it didn’t work out, you don’t seem crazy or dangerous. A good cover letter stating why you are interested in dating the person could increase your chances of getting a callback.
So, in this imaginary world, it would be perfectly normal to walk up to someone you find attractive and hand them an application. The social convention would require that the person accept the application without judgement or emotion. Maybe there would be just a few polite questions or a little small talk. The whole exchange should take no more than a minute. Later the person can choose the most promising candidate and set up an interview (Isn’t a first date really an interview?)
How is this better than online dating?
First impressions or “gut reactions” are a kind of animal instinct we all have. I think these impressions are pretty reliable and accurate. If someone meets you face to face and hands you an application…simply by meeting them physically, you are learning things about them on a subconscious level. Important information is being exchanged, even in those few seconds. This is where online dating sites and dating apps fail.
Sure, you can flip-and-find someone online who has a cute picture and sounds amazing in their self-promotional blurb and set up a date with them. Then you probably find out that they are not at all what you expected. This is such a waste of time. Wouldn’t it be better to have a quick meeting first and then get the details to consider afterwards? Maybe get a few applications to compare..call a few references?
In the world outside my imagination…
I suppose this would probably never work..no room for advertising. It was just a cute and funny idea that popped into my head when I failed to translate accurately.
“Are you applying for a date with me?”
“Why, yes..thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely (your name here)”
I guess online dating apps are the new normal and they are here to stay. We have been trained over the years to filter all of life’s events through our devices. I suppose it works sometimes. But, I still believe that the best way to meet someone is to meet them, face to face, out in the world. And listen to your instincts.
If you have any questions or comments or if you would like to submit an application, please use the form below.
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Losing Focus: Finding Interest in Blurry Photos
***If you are looking at this on your phone you probably won’t see the blur in these photos. Your phone will crush the images to the point where they will probably look in focus. Of all the posts so far, this one needs to be seen on a bigger screen to make sense…
***photographers: this article is not about using diffusion filters to soften focus.
Finding something interesting in “mistakes”
Over the years, I have taken thousands of pictures. Sometimes they turn out great. Often times they don’t. Sometimes the image I was seeing in my mind didn’t translate well with the camera or, other times, the photos are technically flawed. My camera is older and the auto-focus system is not perfect. It struggles with difficult light and reflections, especially at night. So, I tend to get a few photos that are out of focus from time to time. These blurry pictures are impossible to fix and I always delete them first, without any thought, to save space on my computer.
Lately, I have found a few of these pictures that escaped getting deleted. While they are not what I intended, some of them are still kind of interesting. Unfortunately, only a few of these “mistakes” have survived. So, I decided to go out and try to take some out of focus pictures on purpose and see if I could come up with some good shots.
This project turned out to be much more difficult than I thought. My idea was to just go out, find an interesting scene, manually de-focus the camera and shoot away. I shot hundreds of photos and the majority looked terrible…not interesting…just BAD pictures.
But, over a couple of weeks, I managed to figure out which images are more likely to make a good blurred photo. Here are the ones that I think turned out pretty well.
Shooting through moving water
Manually de-focussed still life shots around my apartment
These photos have a dreamy quality about them: you know what they are but all the details are missing. Like…you know there was a person in your dream…you know what you said, you know what you did…but you can’t see their face no matter how hard you try to remember….these pictures have that kind of feeling for me.
Out in the city at night
I thought night shooting might be a little easier but it was just as difficult to get an interesting shot. Here are a few that I did like. In the city at night, there is a lot of hard contrast in the lighting which I found helps to give some structure to de-focussed pictures.
Time Travel
Photos that look like paintings
Scenes with strong texture and clear structure can make good unfocussed images. Because of the large grain and the soft transition between colours, these ones look like oil paintings to me.
Ghosts…
Images with people in them turned out to be some of the most interesting ones. They all look like dream scenes to me. They are clearly people but their limbs are distorted and their faces are obscured. This is how I tend to remember characters from dreams. I don’t think I have ever seen a ghost but, if I did, I imagine that this is what they would look like.
What’s next…?
This was a difficult project and I am kind of glad that I can get back to taking “normal” pictures again. I am really happy with these few good shots that I did come up with. I hope you like them too. Working on a project about shadows…
As always, you are welcome to leave questions or comments below. I am always happy to hear from you. Knowing you have been here motivates me to keep at it. Thanks for looking!
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Tiara Girls in Shibuya Scramble
Smartphones and Social Media: Today’s Popular Photography
These days, everyone everywhere has a camera in their pocket. Smartphone cameras have filters, AI and editing tools that give everyone the ability to take a decent photograph. Publishing photos has also become effortless. Anyone can post their images publicly on social media platforms like Instagram, and image posts get feedback through “likes” and “comments”. This is satisfying and motivating. It is a fun way to share your images with a huge audience.
Social media gives people the motivation to take photographs and smartphone technology makes it easy. The result is that millions of personal documentary style photos are being published everyday. Photo based apps have become a worldwide tool for communication and self expression. But while casual social media snaps are by far the most common type of photography, there are still other types of photographs to consider: images that are able to draw and hold your attention, freezing unique and surprising moments in time. There is a kind of magic in them. They are rare and difficult to capture.
Because these types of photos are so elusive, netting them requires some planning and skill but mostly persistence and luck. Of the thousands of pictures I took on a recent trip to Japan and Korea, I managed to capture only one such image.
The 1/250th of a second miracle
1/250th of a second…that’s how much time is captured here. We are in a huge crowd of people swarming through Shibuya Scramble Crossing in Tokyo. I am quickly walking forward taking pictures from waist level without looking through my camera. The girls are walking quickly towards me headed in the opposite direction. For this fraction of a second, we are facing each other. We are less than 2 metres apart and my finger happens to push the camera shutter. We pass each other and the moment is gone. Forever. One fraction of a second before or after and it would not exist. It is pure luck.
The intimate angle, the fact that the image is in focus and exposed so well and the emotion on display coming together in this tiny moment is almost a miracle. To put it into context, I tried the same technique in the same crosswalk for over two hours and took over 400 pictures. Out of 400 shots, maybe 6 or 7 were usable. Of those few, this was the only one that stood out as something truly special. It made the whole process worthwhile and went beyond all my expectations. It is one of my favourite pictures that I have ever taken.
What sets this image apart?
Emotion.
Photographs that express strong emotion are the ones that draw me in . And, the most captivating images are candid photos, where the emotion is pure and unaffected, where the subject has no sense that they are being photographed.
Tiara Girls in Shibuya Scramble glows with the energy of youth: freedom, rebellion, optimism are all on display. School uniform collars are unbuttoned and ties are pulled loose. Determined eyes are gazing directly and fearlessly into the future.
The princess tiaras, the body language and the smiles on their faces hint at the kind of friendship that can only bloom when you are young and free and open hearted. It makes me think of this short story passage:
“The most important people turned up surprisingly early in life. After a certain point, she found it difficult to turn even the first page of relationships that her younger self would’ve entered with relative ease. People locked their hearts at some point in their lives, as if everyone had agreed to do so. Then they made acquaintances outside those locks, with people who would never hurt them or be hurt by them”. Choi Eunyoung “Sister, My Little Soonae”
Some of our closest and most impactful friendships are forged when we are very young: before we have had our hearts bruised enough times to start hiding them away from others. This photograph captures that time.
Candid photography and telephoto lenses (spy photography)
Are there easier ways to get this kind of picture? Why not just sit up on a staircase above the crossing with a long lens and fire away..like taking bird pictures? The answer is that if you are not down in the crowd using a lens that is close to human vision perspective, you will not capture the kind of emotion that you see here. It just won’t work. The photos will look like spy camera photos, flat and lifeless. Kind of like when they show snaps of cop surveillance photos on tv shows. You need to be inside the image. When you are photographing from a distance, the photo will feel distant.
Check out my original post about Shibuya Scramble Crossing if want to see a few more pictures from this day.
If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below. Knowing you have been here gives me the motivation to keep it up. Thanks always for stopping by : )
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